Rosalie Gets a Tan
by Glitterized
Summary: Rosalie decides that a tan would make her more beautiful. She buys tanning lotion. Orange-ness ensues.


**Unfortunately, I don't own any of these characters. I just get them stuck in sticky situations. **

**--I just deleted chapter 2 & 3, I liked it more as one chapter. But if anyone has suggestions to add on to it, let me know, and I might write them. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Rosalie's POV

"Aliceeeee!" I called, throwing a lime green bikini to join the heap of swimsuits cluttering my floor

"What?" she said, appearing at my door, looking irritated

"We need to go shopping." I sighed "I don't like these swimsuits."

"Well we can't, I have to finish painting my room." She was painting it _again??_

"But—" I started to protest, but was interrupted by a whack in the face. I looked away from her retreating figure to a glossy magazine lying on the floor. On the cover, a smiling brunette on a beach modeled a hot pink bikini. Apparently, I would be shopping for a swimsuit from home.

I opened the magazine, and started glancing through the different bikini styles and colors, trying to find the one that would enhance my perfection.

Then, something caught my eye. Across the top of one of the pages, in bright yellow was the sentence, "Make sure to sunbathe in these for a sexy tan line!"

That was when I noticed something in common about all of the models. They were tan. And I wasn't.

_Another thing that humans can have that I can't. _

I suddenly wondered how people must be looking at me, what men thought. Maybe they wouldn't think I was attractive because I was so pale, maybe those insignificant little girls at school gossiped about me because I wasn't tan, maybe they weren't jealous of my perfection because I wasn't perfect. I didn't have a tan.

This was ridiculous. When I was a human, it had been stylish to remain extremely pale. Now, the fad was to become bronzed.

I usually wouldn't have cared; I would have just told myself that my pallor combined with my stunning beauty would attract more attention. But for some reason the fact that humans could have the tanned look and I could not made me angry. No one should have anything that adds to their beauty that I, too, could not have.

I clenched my teeth and tossed the magazine onto the floor.

"What's wrong, babe?" Emmett's voice came from behind me

I turned to see him standing in the doorway.

"Nothing," I said coldly. He would definitely laugh if he knew

"Aw, Rose, tell me." He pleaded;

"No."

"Pleeeasee??" He pouted. Fine. I couldn't ever resist Emmett.

I sighed dramatically, "I hate being pale."

"Oh, that's all?" he grinned

"Yes, I would be so much prettier if I were tan." I glared down at my snow colored hand

"Rose, it isn't possible for you to be more gorgeous."

"It is too possible, if I had a tan."

"No,"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes."

"Rose, you would be stunning either way, it doesn't matter what color your skin is."

"Prove it."

His face scrunched up into his 'thinking' expression.

I rolled over and buried my face in a pillow.

After several minutes, Emmett said, "Aha!" and I could hear him race out of the room.

I rolled off of the bed and went to look in one of the huge, full-length mirrors that were hung all around the room. Usually, I adored looking at myself, mulling over my perfection, but this time I could only notice how pale I was.

About 2 minutes later, Emmett came dashing back into the room with his laptop.

He opened it, clicked around, and then puckered his eyebrows together, concentrating.

I sat there, watching him until he lifted his head.

"Come see," he turned the screen towards me.

There were to pictures of me, right next to each other. One was how I usually look, and the other had a photo-shopped tan.

"I told you, you look beautiful both ways." He grinned triumphantly

He was wrong. Sure, the pale me was stunning, but _tan_, I looked perfect.

The tan looked amazing with my blond hair, it made my perfect and pure white teeth stand out, and accented my gold eyes. Tan, I looked 100x prettier than any of those models. No one would be able to keep their eyes off of me. _Not that they can look away from you now._

But still….

I had to get tan, somehow.

"Rose? Don't you?" Emmett interrupted my thoughts

"Yeah," I said, and then dashed out of the room

As I left, I could hear him mutter something like, "Silly gorgeous insecure girl."

I danced gracefully down the stairs, deep in thought. There had to be some way for a vampire to become tan. I walked up to Carlisle's office, knocking lightly on the door.

"Come in."

I opened the door, and walked carefully in. Carlisle was reading, as usual. As soon as I closed the door behind me, he turned to look at me.

"What do you need, Rose?" he smiled

"Well," I hesitated, biting my perfect bottom lip. He was going to think I was insane.

_Oh, what the heck._ "Can vampires get tan??" I said, quickly.

The look on his face questioned my sanity. "Uhm…" he cleared his throat. "You see Rose, when the venom touches the cell—" I interrupted him, not wanting an anatomy lesson. "Yes or no, Carlisle?"

He sighed, "No, they cannot."

What does he know? My mind argued, maybe there is an artificial way.

_Only a human would know._

I heard Bella in the kitchen, only a human would make so much noise.

I felt my eyebrows arch in surprise. On the counter, there was a 3 foot tall sandwich, with Bella behind it, a very determined look on her face. She held a single leaf of lettuce between her fingers, and carefully placed it on the top. I heard her breathe a sigh of relief. She turned to Emmett, who was standing behind her.

"Can I have some Mayo and one more slice of bread?"

He grinned, and handed them to her. She carefully squirted out a tiny bit of mayo, and then looked at Emmett for approval.

"Just a little more." He said, his voice full of authority.

She squeezed the bottle again, and a huge puddle of mayo sprayed out, dripping down the sides of the sandwich. She flushed bright red, and began to cry. _Ok, then._

"Uh, Emmett, What are you _doing_?" I asked, almost not wanting to know. They both looked up, noticing me for the first time. Bella sniffed and wiped her eyes. Emmett grinned sheepishly.

"Well you see I decided that Bella could use some training, you know, to make her less clumsy. This is the training for her hands."

I nodded, at a loss for words. Emmett came up with the most ridiculous ideas.

"Oh, um...fun. Listen, I was wondering if I could talk to Bella for a moment?"

Bella looked at me, shocked. Then she nodded and followed me out the back door.

xx

"Bella," I hesitated, she would think I was so silly after this, but getting a tan was worth it.

"Yes?" she said, looking like a frightened rabbit

"I was wondering, how do you humans get, you know, a tan?"

She looked astonished, and then smiled with relief

"well, there are lots of ways."

"Tell me."

"Most humans just lay out in the sun for a while. Some go to a tanning salon, where they lay in tanning beds—"

"What are those?" I interrupted

"I'm not exactly sure, I've never been to one."

Obviously… she was almost as pale as I was.

She continued, "And then there are self-bronzing lotions or sprays."

"Self-bronzing lotions?"

"Yeah, I used some once. You just rub it onto your skin, and it turns tan."

Hm, there's an idea

"Thanks, Bella."

"Anytime," she dashed back inside, tripping over air.

I stood on the deck, a plan forming in my head.

xx

I walked through the automatic doors into the dingy Thriftway. I looked around with what I assumed must have been a scornful expression. I was used to high-class department stores.

"C-can I help you?" I male voice asked

I turned to see a young man staring at me with a badge the stated his name was Austin.

"No, thank you." I replied icily, ignoring the metaphorical drool coming out of his mouth. Not that I minded it or anything.

"Okay, just let me know if you need anything." He turned and walked quickly away

I looked up at small signs hanging above the isles, looking for the right one. Ah, cosmetics.

xx

I carefully locked the bathroom door, and then pulled the lotion carefully out of the bag. I read the directions on the back carefully; I didn't want anything to mess up my tan.

_TAN IN A FLASH!_

_Look like you just stepped out of the sun. Instantly, this tinted, shimmering gel-crème gives your legs a radiant, healthy glow—head to toe._

_THE ULTIMATE SELF-TANNER_

_Starting in under an hour, see a natural-looking golden bronze "tan" develop. Ingeniously tinted, so that you can be sure that it's being applied evenly without streaks._

_DIRECTIONS._

_For best results, smooth directly onto freshly exfoliated skin_

_Apply gel along skin, then massage with hands until absorbed and the desired finish is achieved. Avoid immediate contact with hair and clothing. Allow several minutes before getting dressed. _

I quickly re-read the directions, and then stripped.

I unscrewed the lid, and squeezed the gel into my hand. I started with my legs. I could barely see a change in color, so I did three more coats. I ended up using all 5 bottles

After I finished, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror. I was _tan. _And just the right color, too. Not too dark, but not too light.

Time to show off my new bronzed self.

I selected a hot pink super short mini skirt and a white tank top. _Perfect._

Emmett had told me that he and Jasper would be home about 4:30, it was 4:20 right now, so I decided to get ready to show him the new me. I lay across the bed, and thumbed through the swimsuit magazine, no longer jealous of those insignificant, airbrushed –to-look-perfect models.

Xx

"Uh, hey Rose" I heard Emmett's voice; I jumped off of the bed.

"Hey babe, like my tan?"

He nodded, looking confused.

"What's wrong, Em?"

"nothing." He looked away.

"Tell me." I ordered

"Rose, your tan looks...strange."

"What??" I shrieked, turning to look at myself for the first time since I had put it on.

I was bright orange.

xx Two weeks later xx

_Finally, _I thought to myself. The tan had finally washed off. Regardless, I was the laughingstock of the family for the rest of eternity.


End file.
